Posted in Books, Humour

Ten Of My Favourite Insults in Literature.

I cannot resist a good quip. There are quite a few insults from great historical characters and Tumblr posts that I love, but the ones that follow are solely from literature. Enjoy, and use with discretion.

  1. “If you’re looking for sympathy, you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.” -David Sedaris, Barrel Fever.
  2. “If you will forgive me for being personal — I do not like your face.” -Hercule Poirot in Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie.
  3. “I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.” -Algernon Moncrieff in The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde.
  4. “And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.” -Sally Nicholas in The Adventures of Sally by P.G. Wodehouse.
  5. “If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.” – Timequake, Kurt Vonnegut.
  6. “Shadwell alone, of all my sons, is he / Who stands confirm’d in full stupidity. /The rest to some faint meaning make pretence / But Shadwell never deviates into sense”- “Mac Flecknoe”, John Dryden.
  7. 9dbeb5d9-a05b-4684-9579-76b6764975d4-620x372-Coriolanus by William Shakespeare.
  8. “She is nuttier than squirrel poo.” -Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, J K Rowling.
  9. “He would make a lovely corpse” -The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit, Charles Dickens.
  10. “The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.” -A Feast for Crows, George R. R. Martin.


Appreciator of all things beautiful. Procrastinator At Large. Lover of animals. 23. Simultaneously too young and too old for her age.

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