Posted in Humour, Kota., Life, Me and moi

Letters to my (almost) wild critter neighbours

1.)
Dear Lizards-on-my-Window,

I think I will name you Harry and Henry. Then I can say to Harry, “Yer a lizard, Harry”. And I saw you invite 5 more friends over to my window the other day. If you want to have a lizzie-fest, please do your job and eat the creepy insects hanging around outside my window.

Sincerely,
Thanks-so-much-for-never-coming-in
image

2.)
Dear Ants-in-my-Wardrobe,

How and why the hell did you get there?

Sincerely,
I-hope-I-got-every-one-of-you-stinging-bitches

3.)
Dear Pigeons-Mating-on-my-Window sill,

I’m glad I’m such an aphrodasiac for you, but can you please keep it down? Pretending to study, here.

Sincerely,
Get-a-Room

4.)
Dear Creepy-green-insects-who-turn-up-just-EVERYWHERE,

Hey, I know you’re small enough to slip through the holes of my window mesh, so I can’t stop you or anything, but I just wanted to remind you that the room is officially mine, and plus, my skin is DEFINITELY off limits.

Sincerely,
Scared-shit-that-you’ll-lay-eggs-in-my-ears-when-I’m-sleeping

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Author:

Appreciator of all things beautiful. Procrastinator At Large. Lover of animals. 23. Simultaneously too young and too old for her age.

5 thoughts on “Letters to my (almost) wild critter neighbours

  1. You just made your blog more awesome by mentioning Harry Potter ( and in a totally relevant way! )
    I feel for you- I detest creepy critters that seem to make it their job to crawl everywhere. The pigeon one made me laugh though. šŸ˜€

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